This module has been such a brilliant way to round off three years worth of being at University. Solo performance has taught me many things about creating drama with such a less conventional method and having the freedom to perform whatever you please. It has helped me gain an interest in this kind of drama for investment in the future and I want to retain what I have learnt thus far.

Creatively, this module has given me the choice to make a show that doesn’t fit in with ordinary drama practice or better yet uses the influence of today’s culture to create a new found narrative. This module has also helped iron out my strengths and weaknesses and where I can make room for improvements in the future. I initially learned about the risks of creating a solo piece and how actors can be willing to take a chance to adapt something by themselves without having to rely on group work. There is one trait that is crucial to this module and it is to be organized at all times.

Overall, if there is anything I would take into serious account for the future is when it comes to creativity, there are so many possibilities in how to interpret that. I have also learnt about maintaining my creative mind and keeping it efficient for this form of drama. As a drama student, solo performance has helped my achieve independence within the acting world. Although working in the theatre is mostly the work of the ensemble, the actor works alone to develop the character, embrace the story and rely on individual presence.

On the day of setting up the show, I felt quite nervous about how I wanted the tech to be set up. It was my first time that I’ve personally organised the tech for a performance. The techies knew what I wanted in my piece and it the two hours went thoroughly well and then began to feel a lot more confident about my show.

The style of lighting I wanted was to reflect on the idea of vanity. Crystal blue was used for the main spotlight on stage as well as the two sidelights on the wings. A Gold tint of lighting was used to focus on the mirror and the reflection of the light shining on my face to convey the idea of my own image bouncing of each other. For the partial audience participatory section, I wanted 3 lighting states to appear as if it was completely random.  The reason for getting the audience involved is because I wanted them to each take 3 photos of me to represent somebody trying to find the perfect image. In a sense, the narcissist can sometimes use people for their own self gain and what better way to do it by asking them for a photo with my phone! The yellow lighting indicated that it was an audience members turn to be used for my own methods.

For the projection, I created a slideshow that was put on a loop and each slide had different quotes made up by me or my character juxtaposed with many different selfies. I wanted to create a feeling of self indulgence and to help reinforce this, I printed out surreal looking pictures of myself.

I recorded the voice-over of the Echo and Narcissus poem which was played for the duration of the performance. I felt that there was no need for words on stage except for the beginning and end because the actions of the character can speak a lot more louder than the words.

From the beginning, I decided to experiment with taking photos every single day; usually 50 at a time. This was to get a feel for the whole exterior of the term ‘self’. The image of self is what i intended to understand because the word ‘selfie’ is the cultural term for ‘my own self image’. This sounds slightly philosophical, but we all yearn for a perfect image. Or do we? What I wanted to do was to step into the minds of the people who literally spend all day doing nothing but trying to find the perfect image. This is what leads to narcissistic behavior traits and people don’t literally realize that this happens every day.

This photo is a prime example of how a narcissists’ favorite object is the mirror they stare into. The reflection is what they adore the most and when I first read the poem ‘Echo and Narcissus’ by Ted Hughes, it was a strong exploration into the possession of self reflection. It was one man’s journey into himself and went so far that he lost what he loved most: himself. In the end, I decided to narrow down the amount of selfies I would use in the performance because it felt right that only a select few would be the best choice for the performance narrative.

For the preset of the play, i had chosen a certain track from the David Fincher film ‘Gone Girl’. I chose this particular piece of music because Fincher asked the composers, Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross to create music that always had that feeling of uncertainty about what happens in the scenes. The one i picked was called ‘the way he looks at me’ and i felt that this was a necessary way for the audience to step into this world that i created. The sounds in the track gives us a feeling of something unusual or not in place and with the stage being set how it was, this music intertwined perfectly into the aspect.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Fp-9cgcRHE

The closing song was by John Legend titled ‘All of me’. I chose this because its interesting how differently it can be interpreted. My character, John Doe, mimes the song as it plays at the end because it feels relevant to him and his narcissistic behavior. It’s clear that Legend is singing about a woman who he loves, but in a metaphorical sense one could say that the song can be all about self indulgence and that the person is in love with his own ego and self reflection. I’m not saying that John Legend is a narcissist, its just how the lyrics to the song make it seem that it is sung from the perspective of a narcissist.

The solo module has finished and it has been one hell of an experience for me personally. After doing my performance about narcissism and selfies, i am definitely considering keeping the concept and title and giving it a slight reboot in the future. What intrigued me the most is how far somebody could be willing to go in an effort to define what is perfect in an image. In the 21st century, our addiction to technology has enabled people to exhibit traits of narcissistic personality disorder.  Although its not actually narcissistic to take a picture of yourself, if it becomes a daily habit or if you need to show people something you believe to be perfect then potentially the disorder is there. But the Question remains: Why do people decide to become narcissists? There’s always a reason for something.

What my performance lacked in i think personally was what drove this character the become like he is. Why is he like that? Is it a problem from the past? Has he gone through an extremely traumatic experience? Well recently, i watched some clips from the Dr Phil show and he had two guests who were prime examples of Narcissists. At first, I didn’t really like the way they were talking about themselves and their unsympathetic attitudes towards others. However, when they each described why they are like that my attitude towards them shifted from annoyed to understanding. They don’t do it because their horrible people, its because they’ve had to adjust themselves psychologically because of a traumatic experience. So the first woman aborted seven babies which is traumatic in any case and the second woman has felt like nobody has given her the love or time she has deserved so the only way to feel appreciated and loved is to be a narcissist. These sorts of feelings and emotions could easily be interpreted as signs of a bad personality. But if you was to focus on the aspects behind this disorder then it is clear that there can be a slight misinterpretation of the perceived disorder.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lglGxQ71Urc

When i start thinking about the newly improved creative process for the extension of my show, i want to intertwine this disorder with how society has become addicted to modern technology and how social media has become the 21st century interpretation of the narcissist. When i took the selfies for the performance, i put myself in the position of somebody who is so immersed with himself that social media has enabled him to gratify his own physical persona for the world to see. I want to explore that even further in the future borrowing ideas from our culture of today.